Persephone's Choice
by Absinthe2
Summary: Forbidden Game fanfic. Jenny keeps her promise of dreaming Julian into a warm place filled with light. But what if he's not dead?


After the Game, everything seemed like an anti-climax. Jenny and the gang graduated from highschool, and went to different colleges. It took Jenny and Tom two years to drift apart, and have an amicable parting. She watched him leave her life, with regret. She clung to her old friends with letters and e-mails, and get togethers on school breaks. She made new friends, and even dated a little. She got good grades, volunteered to teach handicapped kids to swim, and got reprimanded for trying to sneak pets in the dorm room.   
  
And at night, well, at night. Jenny had dreams, full of light and warmth, and no shadows. Every night. For the last three years, starting two weeks after Julian's death. Except for a year ago when he'd disappeared for four months, where she had normal dreams. Then Julian had come back into her dreams.... different...somehow familiar...  
  
Now she dreamed. She was in the backyard of her parents' house, next to the pool. She was in a lounging chair, with the afternoon sun baking into her skin, in a green bikini and sarong set. There was a chilled tropical drink in one hand. Except that, her house had been replaced by a Victorian house, and the fence that divided the individual properties was covered with white roses. No, silver roses that smelled elegant and sweet in the air.   
  
"You look wonderful in the sun, Jenny. It makes your skin shine, like beaten gold. You're glowing. Does it mean you're happy here?" A voice, fluid and coldly beautiful as water over rocks came from her right.  
  
She turned. Julian was in a lounging chair to her right, in the shadow of the house. He was a shock to her senses; frost white hair and luminous eyes. He was in black swimming trunks, his chest bare and sleekly muscled.   
  
She smiled. "Julian. Good to see you again. You always say the nicest things."  
  
"You bring it out of me." He smiled, pleased. "How was your day?"  
  
"Kate learned how to float today. I'm so proud of her. Pawfoot, the kitten I told you about that was run over by a car, she's going to make it." She smiled. "I got a call from Audrey today, and she told me that she was engaged to Michael. Isn't that wonderful? Speaking of Michael, his short story got accepted from this magazine. They're going out to celebrate. Dee's looking for an apartment, but it's hard for her, even with her job as a martial arts instructor. I got an e-mail from Tommy. His sprained ankle is getting better."  
  
At the mention of Tommy's name, Julian's face darkened, and his mouth turned cruel. The moment passed.   
  
It was the only cloud in this sunny place. Jenny talked about her grades, and her family and her life. Julian listened, eyes intent and focused on her. They swam in the pool. She floated in the water, and drowned in Julian's kisses. Julian held her, and whispered things in her ear. Strange things. Things about the nine worlds, and the different ways to pierce the veil between the worlds, and stories that made her smile and laugh, and pretty poems with syllables that flowed like liquid gold.   
  
Finally, they came back to the old topic. By this, Jenny knew she would be waking up soon.   
  
The warmth leeched from Julian, and he got a predatory look in his face. His eyes were blue ice burning with hunger, as if he would devour her. "Jenny, what would it take to make you give up the human world?"  
  
It was always the same question. It caused shadows to creep into this sanctuary of light and warmth. The setting was different, the words were different, the approach was different, but the meaning was the same. Jenny's reply was always the same.  
  
She'd take his hand in hers, hand curiously cool even in the baking sun, and squeeze it. He'd squeeze back. She'd shake her head, and look away.  
  
"No," she said. "I love this world too much."  
  
And the same thing would happen. She could feel his sadness, his need, a touch of cold fury. She didn't have to look at him to know what he was feeling. It was just a flash. Then it would go away. And he'd do the same thing he always did. He gathered her up in his arms, press a kiss on her forehead, and whisper something in an alien tongue. Even though she didn't understand the words, she could hear the promise in them. A promise of what, she didn't understand.  
  
The dream dissolved, broken by the sound of her alarm clock. She started her day, and pretended to be a girl who didn't have dreams of Shadow Men, or feel a sense of loss at waking.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It happened again.   
  
Jenny was hanging out at the local Starbucks with her new friends: Sarah, Alice and Dorry. They'd gotten an outdoor table with a view of the plaza. Alice was complaining about how inattentive her boyfriend was. Jenny nodded, as she took a sip of her hot chocolate. She was one of those people who couldn't drink coffee so close to bedtime.   
  
It happened. She felt eyes on her. She looked around at the pedestrians strolling around, and the college kids laughing and studying. No one was looking at her. She felt herself being watched. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. She turned her head. There, in the bushes, where the lights from the stores and the street lamps failed to reach. For a moment, she saw something darker than the shadows.   
  
"Jenny? Something wrong? You're spacing out. "  
  
She turned her head. Sarah was looking at her, concern shining in her brown eyes.   
  
Jenny was unnerved. She made her excuses, said she was tired, she had a huge workload, she was heading back to the dorms. As she left, she heard Dorrie mutter, "She's been like this for months. What is with her?"  
  
Jenny winced at the sting of Dorrie's words, as she walked home. But it was true. She'd been distracted and jittery. For months, she felt as if there were something in the shadows. Sometimes she felt like someone was watching her. It wasn't threatening, but it was unnerving. It was something she could ignore during the day. But it was strongest at night. Especially when she was alone, and out late. Like now.   
  
She'd felt this way her whole life. Except it was because Julian had been watching her. Except Julian was dead. She knew. She'd watched him die, had shed tears over him. Had felt him dissolve. It was probably nerves, she told herself. Her imagination. No one was watching her. A movement in the shadows. She turned her head, and saw nothing.   
  
Julian was dead. She stopped under a streetlight. The ring on her finger glinted in the light. She took it off, and read the inscription. She was her own master. She was free. She was in charge of her life, and it was good. The streetlamp flickered, plunged her into darkness, then turned back on.   
  
"Julian?" she called out. She turned around, eyes sweeping the deserted street.   
  
Nothing.  
  
She felt foolish. Julian was dead, except in her dreams. And even then, she didn't know how real it was. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, a made up Julian based on her memories and her sadness and guilt. She put her ring back on, and walked home.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a fair, sunny day when her life would change forever. It was midterms, and Jenny had gotten off to a bad start. She'd slept through her alarm, and had run off to her biology test in the big T-shirt and sweats she'd slept in. She'd had to borrow a pencil and score sheet from her neighbor. She'd gone to her dorm and changed, then ran to her next class and her next test. Finally, she had a lunch break scheduled, but the next test was Chemistry, which she wasn't doing so well in. So Alice had offered to help her cram. The time had slipped away.   
  
Jenny's mind was on chemistry equations and her stomach, while she was crossing the street. It was noon, and she hadn't had breakfast. She wished for a hamburger, or pizza, or even raw sushi. Anything. Her mind was on anything but her surroundings.  
  
She never saw the car coming. She felt it, a sickening crunching sound, a falling sensation of being flung across and slamming into something hard. Then the pain. And someone, a drunken voice calling her. And pain, black waves of it sucking her in and scouring her clean.   
  
She slipped from consciousness. But even that couldn't save her from the pain. It owned her, and knew it. It raked her over hot coals, and ate her alive, and she wanted it to stop, but it never did. She pleaded with it. Finally, it dampened, held back by medication. She drifted in and out, heard voices. Grim, cool voices. Familiar ones. The sounds of her family grieving. She thought she heard her little brother Cam crying. She wanted to tell him to stop, that it was okay. Then the pain gripped her, and she lost coherent thought.  
  
She didn't know how much time passed. There were her friends' voices: Dee, Audrey, Michael, Tom, Zack, Summer, Alice, Sarah. They sounded worried. She wanted to comfort them, but the pain it ate her whole. And sometimes...she heard Julian's voice. His was the clearest. He was frantic, worried, pleading. Something about not being able to stop it, of how there were no shadows at high noon, of how she should call for him.  
  
Pain washed over her. She'd give anything to make it stop. Just, make it stop.   
  
Then one day, her lips formed a word, and she managed to push breath into it. The pain took her. It didn't matter. The words were said, and words had power.  
  
Jenny was dreaming again. She was staring at a white ceiling. She was lying down. The pain was a distant roar, a threat in the background. She knew she was dreaming, because Julian was there. He was coldly beautiful, the lights bouncing off his hair like white icicles, and his eyes, the color of the predawn sky.   
  
She smiled at him. Or tried to. "This is a strange dream. It's not as warm as the others."  
  
"No, it's not." He laid his hand over hers, his touch as light and cool as a shadow's. "I can make it stop. This is a temporary measure, and soon the pain will come again. You'll suffer again." His eyes darkened with sorrow. With a sudden insight, she knew that he was reflecting her pain.   
  
"I don't want that to happen again."  
  
His eyes gleamed, flashed with an emotion she didn't recognize. It was eager, relieved...and triumphant? "Neither do I. We can do something about it. All you have to do is say the word. Come with me. I'll take care of you. I'll never let you be hurt. Just say the word."  
  
His voice wrapped around her like black velvet, soothing and compelling.   
  
"I..." She hesitated. There was something she was forgetting. The pain... No, not the pain. Something else...  
  
"Do you want to go back to the world again? That's where the pain comes from. Jenny..." His voice cracked. For a brief moment, he was vulnerable. She could see the fear, for her. His need, and his anger for her, and his hunger, and his love.  
  
She felt something answer inside of her. And...she wanted the pain to stop, wanted the hurting to stop. She couldn't even remember why she shouldn't. Not that it mattered. It was only a dream.   
  
"Yes," she said.   
  
He smiled. He made a fluid gesture with his other hand, and showed it. In his palm sat a small golden apple. It had wrinkled skin, and was no bigger than an apricot. "They called them the golden apples of the sun. If you ate it, then you were granted immortality. You would be free from mortal injury. It will take the pain away."  
  
He made another conjuring motion, and revealed a small knife in his palm. He sliced an apple piece, and held it to her lips. The apple was warm and fizzy on her tongue, and dissolved like sunlight or wine down her throat. Another slice, then another, until the apple was pared down to its core.   
  
The warm and fizzy feeling slid down to her stomach, sat there. Then it exploded, as if she were being set on fire, as if it were boiling her alive. She'd scream, except she wasn't sure she had lungs anymore. She was shot through with sensation, and couldn't tell whether it was pain or pleasure.   
  
She finally came back to herself. She felt lighter; better than she ever had before. And best of all, the pain was gone. Everything was clear, hyper bright and illuminated. And she knew. She knew.  
  
She sat up in her hospital bed, and pulled at the lines and things that were attaching her to the machines. She looked at the equipment keeping them alive, and saw that they were dead. It was probably Julian's doing.  
  
She turned to him, fury snapping her eyes a dark green. "You. All along, you were in my dreams. How did you do it? You're supposed to be dead! Not here, tricking me."  
  
Julian enveloped her in a hug, buried his face in her hair, and squeezed her so hard the breath left her body. She had no choice but to hug him back. She wanted to. She felt him drinking her in, as if she would disappear from his arms. She felt his warmth seep into her, soothing her. Her anger fell melted away. She felt something stir in her heart.   
  
After a small eternity, they drew back. Julian trailed his fingers down her shoulder, traced shivers down her arms, and held her hands. He looked at her, as if she would disappear if he took his eyes off of her.  
  
"How? I thought you were dead." Her voice was soft. Wondering.  
  
"It was a punishment. For disobeying them." He shook his head. "I want to thank you...you have such beautiful dreams, full of light and warmth. Just like you. But I digress. They carved me back into the stave."  
  
Her old anger came back, cold and flaring inside of her, killing her affection for him. "Alright. Fine. So what game are we playing now?"  
  
"There is no game. You agreed to be mine. It's over."  
  
"No. You tricked me." She narrowed her eyes, and hissed, "It wasn't sporting. You caught me at a vulnerable moment."  
  
Without moving a muscle, Julian's face fell into cruel lines. But still beautiful, achingly beautiful. He smiled, and it was dangerous as an avalanche coming for you. "I tricked you? When will you ever learn? The world is cruel, and it certainly isn't fair. If it were kind, or fair, you wouldn't have been dying! I didn't trick you, I saved your life. And you're coming with me."  
  
There was a sizzling sound, as the lights in the room died. She was alone in the dark with a dangerous man. A dangerous man who was angry, and who had hurt her in the past. Had hurt her friends. An eldritch, blue light filled the room. It illuminated the anger and the weariness on his face. Jenny didn't have to look to know that the vortex to another world was there.   
  
She waited for the fear to come, for the old reaction to him. It didn't. She didn't know why, but she stopped being afraid of him. When did that happen? When she saw the look he gave her, before he died? Or perhaps the many times he held her, whispered tender things to her, the tender looks, the electric kisses...all in her dreams.   
  
"I won't," she said. She glared at the dark patch in front of her. His hands were still gentle on her. She yanked her hands, but his grip wouldn't budge. "I won't give up this world, or my friends or my family, or my future."  
  
There was a deep, ripe silence from him. It was a pregnant waiting, the calm before the storm. Something inside of him seemed to die. His hands slid from hers. He stood up, in front of the vortex. She had a flash of deja vu.   
  
"Alright. I will give you a gift, perhaps the last one from me. The one more precious than immortality. I give you the gift of choice." He paused. "You once told me that there are some things I couldn't force, or buy. That it had to be given. So. Come with me, or stay in this world that would have killed you, that hurt you. If you choose the latter, you'll never see me again."  
  
"Never? No games, no kidnapped friends, no threats?" She couldn't keep the incredulity out of her voice.  
  
"No." Bleak humor curled over his next words. "They never worked, anyway." His voice turned cold, as chilly and unfriendly as the arctic. "Choose, within the next five minutes."  
  
It was simple, easy. Just to say 'No', to refuse to go with him. Then it would be over. She sat on what was almost her deathbed, and said nothing. What was wrong with her? This was what she wanted. She would be free of him at last. Just one word, and she would never see him again.  
  
Never be shocked by how beautiful he was. Never to hear his voice, elemental, cold as water over rocks. Never kiss him, or be kissed by him. Never feel his touch, soft as the pat of a cat's paw. Never to be held by him. Never to tell her how her day went, and the look of concentration he got. Never have him in her life.   
  
Something inside of her twisted. It hurt worse than the physical pain, than the one that had dogged her last days. A deep panic welled up inside of her, as if Julian had threatened Tommy or her friends. Her heart stirred. She finally recognized what it meant.   
  
With self-knowledge, everything fell into place. She knew what to do.  
  
She stood up. "I've made my choice."  
  
"Alright." All emotion was bleached from his voice.  
  
She looked into his face, all expression obscured by shadow. His eyes gleamed in the dark, like the moon's halo. They were stark, neither welcoming or unwelcoming.  
  
"All I refuse and thee I choose."   
  
Jenny wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. He was stiff, unresponsive. She kissed him, put all her love in it. She felt him melt, his body soften and mold around hers, and his arms came up around her. The kiss was an explosion of fireworks between them. In it, she felt his joy and his desperation, and his awe. Most of all, she felt his love. She felt an answering love in her.   
  
The world fell away from them.  



End file.
